Community Living Campaign

Cultivating connections to help seniors and people with disabilities age and thrive at home.

Cultivating connections to help seniors and people with disabilities age and thrive at home.

People & Stories

Circle of Kindness

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From Sunnysid

I love the way this has gone.  Here’s the whole story so that Ana can know the origin.
 
I had a very large Guatemalan shawl (black with white skeletons) that was gathering dust for years at the back of my closet.  I gave it to a neighbor, Cynthia, who made wonderful masks out of it.  I sent five to Shelley in Chicago and she shared one with her friend in Sarasota, Florida.  Later, as a sweet thank you, Shelley sent me finger puppets with a request to give some to Cynthia, which I did.  The rest I gave to Patti because she knows just about everyone in San Francisco and I was certain she would pass them on to some great kids.  Next thing we know Charles makes a super-cute and imaginative video, which Shelley loved, and, being Shelley, shared with her cardiologist who will in turn share it with her twin boys.
 
Well done everyone!  That’s what I call A Circle Of Kindness.  I love this so much.  It makes me wonder how many other circles are out there in the world.  I hope it’s a LOT!!!

 

Stranded at the Door: The Accessibility Challenges ACT is Fighting to Fix

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Jennifer Walsh arrived in her wheelchair at the first-ever Accessible Community Teams (ACT) meeting, ready to present. She had spent years advocating for better sidewalk accessibility through Community Living Campaign’s (CLC) Sidewalk Search Party, training residents to report infrastructure issues, and helping make San Francisco a safer place for all. She was going to share her knowledge with the ACT. But as she approached the venue – an old church – she faced an all-too-familiar problem: she couldn’t get inside.

A new gate blocked the wheelchair ramp, and the people in charge of the facility were out of town. “I left when the associate pastor said, ‘I can’t do anything. The boss is out of town; we might have a ramp next week,’” Jennifer recalled. Quick thinking, Jennifer decided to do her presentation outside via Zoom.

The irony of the situation was not lost on anyone. ACT was formed to tackle accessibility barriers in neighborhoods, yet one of its key advocates was being forced to deliver her presentation from the cold sidewalk. “It was amazing,” said Patti Spaniak, Director of Community Engagement for CLC, which backs ACT. “So it was irony and a paradox.” This incident underscores exactly why ACT exists.

The Birth of ACT

ACT is the brainchild of Juliet Rothman, who has long been involved in accessibility advocacy through the Sidewalk Search Party. Sidewalk Search Party is a community-driven initiative that has been meeting since 2019 to strategize ways to educate city departments and private construction sites on maintaining accessible temporary pathways during construction. The group frequently explores neighborhoods in the city and tags broken sidewalks as “quaked” by putting a duck-shaped information packet next to the sidewalk for neighbors and city workers to see.  

ACT was born out of Juliet’s realization that accessibility issues—uneven sidewalks, blocked ramps, poorly lit streets, and narrow pathways—exist everywhere, making everyday life difficult for seniors, people with disabilities, parents pushing strollers, and others. ACT will work to change this by empowering local communities to identify and report these issues, creating a grassroots movement for accessibility improvements.

What ACT does

ACT will operate hyperlocally, empowering individual neighborhoods to take action rather than tackling citywide accessibility issues simultaneously. Community volunteers will form teams, receive training on identifying common barriers—such as sidewalk hazards, inadequate lighting, and inaccessible entryways—and learn how to report them effectively. 

“We will hopefully make these communities more comfortable for everyone—seniors, people with disabilities, even moms pushing baby carriages and racing across streets with toddlers,” Juliet said. “The idea is to make groups of people in each community spread the word, be aware, and take steps to address the issues they find.”

To support ACT efforts, teams will use The Accessibility Teams Handbook, which highlights that accessibility is rarely a simple “yes” or “no” issue, as it often depends on specific circumstances and environmental factors. The handbook provides guidance on reporting barriers, understanding legal accessibility requirements, and working with city agencies to advocate for improvements. By leveraging this resource, ACT members can make meaningful contributions to their communities while gaining a deeper understanding of accessibility challenges and solutions.

The Department of Public Works has already expressed enthusiasm for the initiative, recognizing that community reports save the city time and effort in identifying problem areas. “If you guys go out there and find all this stuff and let us know, that saves us the effort of going and looking,” a Public Works representative relayed to Juliet. 

Patti is working to better align ACT with CLC community groups. She has helped secure buy-in from local leaders and structured a system to integrate ACT into community meetings and advocacy efforts. So far, Patti has signed up three of the neighborhoods CLC works with.

The Road Ahead

Looking ahead, ACT aims to expand beyond its initial three pilot neighborhoods. “My main goals for this year would be to train all the communities that CLC serves,” Juliet said. “And I would like to have the booklet printed.”

As ACT gains traction, organizers hope to compile success stories, demonstrating the impact of local advocacy on citywide accessibility improvements. Jennifer’s experience at that first meeting was a stark reminder of why this work matters. If an accessibility expert can’t enter a building to present at a meeting about accessibility, what does that say about the daily experiences of people with disabilities? ACT is determined to change that—one community at a time.

Good Neighbors 2024

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Each year, the Community Living Campaign honors San Franciscans who volunteer their time and care to make their neighborhoods better places for us to age and thrive together. They are some of the many neighbors who contribute to vibrant communities all over our City.  Join us in  celebrating the impact these Good Neighbors working with us have had throughout San Francisco. Together, we are keeping our neighborhoods vibrant and connected.

  • Advocacy: Chinese Crochet Team – SinHing Lee, ManYi Ma, Jinzhu Liang, FangYu Li, Susie Chen, RuiYuan Lim
  • Bayview Grocery Network – Mary Cerutti
  • Cayuga  – Steve Indig
  • Chinese Community Connectors – Emily Lee
  • Computers & Access, Chinese – WanLing Ma
  • Computers & Access, English – Nathalie Soler
  • Crocker Amazon  – Mo Ling Sit
  • Inclusion & Access/Sidewalk Search Party – Blandina Bello Hernandez
  • Inner Sunset- Millie (Milagros) Cenidoza
  • Midtown Terrace – Evangeline Villanueva
  • Miraloma Park – Jennifer Okano
  • Miraloma Park – Ferruccio Morassi
  • OMI Grocery Network – John Glen
  • Park Merced Grocery Network – Orlando Trevinio
  • Potrero Hill – Ruth Carsch
  • SF Reserve – Paul Hickman
  • St. Francis Square – Sylvia Lew
  • Sunnyside Community Connectors – Marilyn Koehler
  • Senior Power – Diane Lawrence

Read about some of this year’s good neighbors below and watch this year’s videos.

Chinese Crochet Team

Advocacy: Chinese Crochet Team – SinHing Lee, ManYi Ma, Jinzhu Liang, FangYu Li, Susie Chen, RuiYuan Lim
.These people are really a big help for the crochet project. This year, they’ve helped crochet many Forget-Me-Not flowers, beautiful faux flowers that we gave to city decision-makers to remind them to “Forget us Not” during budget time. We also gave them as gifts to our donors at our annual event this year. We are greatly indebted to the fine craftsmanship of the flowers and for their help during a hard budget year. 

Mary Cerutti

Bayview Grocery Network – Mary Cerutti
The Bayview Home Delivered Grocery Network honors Mary Cerutti, a dedicated volunteer who helps ensure that seniors and people with disabilities in Bayview get fresh fruits, vegetables, and proteins each week. We are very grateful for all she does

 

Steve Indi

Cayuga  – Steve Indig
The Cayuga neighborhood is honoring Steve Indig, an active member of the Neighborhood association (including a lot of planning for the recent fall festival). He regularly cleans Alemany and our stairway and offers valuable tech help to many of our neighbors. Thank you, Steve!

 

Emily Lee


Chinese Community Connectors – Emily Lee
We are thrilled to recognize Emily Lee as our Good Neighbor. A dedicated, long-term volunteer, Emily has been part of our Cultural Exchange program for nearly three years, teaching English classes every Wednesday. Her commitment and care are evident in the strong relationships she’s built with her students, who can truly feel her dedication to their success and her deep connection to the community. We are honored to have Emily’s passion and hard work as part of our program and proud to celebrate her as our Good Neighbor.

WanLing Ma

Computers & Access, Chinese – WanLing Ma
WanLing is truly a good neighbor and an incredible help to all those around her. She consistently offers her support to neighbors with their technology challenges, often visiting their homes and working with me over the phone to assist them. WanLing is always encouraging her neighbors to keep learning, patiently guiding them through any difficulties. Thanks to her efforts, several of her neighbors are now able to join our online computer class, continue developing basic tech skills, and stay connected with family and friends through their phones.

Nathalie Soler

Nathalie Soler

Computers & Access, Chinese – Nathalie Soler
We are delighted to recognize Nathalie Soler as this year’s CLC Computers & Access–English Good Neighbor Award recipient. As a dedicated Health Science student at the University of Florida, Nathalie shares her enthusiasm for education and technology with the CLC community by volunteering to teach both our Translation Tools and Recipes classes. Through her Translation Tools class, Nathalie patiently guides learners step-by-step through platforms like Google Translate and Microsoft Translator, helping to break down language barriers and create meaningful connections. In her Recipes class, she introduces participants to a variety of recipe sites, sparking culinary creativity and helping people find dishes to suit any taste or occasion. Nathalie’s commitment to building a welcoming and inclusive digital learning environment makes her an invaluable Good Neighbor to the CLC community.

Mo Ling Sit

Crocker Amazon Community Connectors – Mo Ling Sit
Ling is a quick-thinking leader and valued member of the CLC community, particularly in the Excelsior and Crocker Amazon neighborhoods. Known for her generosity and humility, she became a standout volunteer during the pandemic, offering help at Crocker Connector events and consistently bringing warmth and positivity to the community. Originally from Canton, China, Ling’s compassion shines through her behind-the-scenes work, especially in food preparation for Crocker Potlucks and ensuring smooth event setups and cleanups. Her infectious energy and leadership, such as her standout role at the 2023 Sunday Streets booth, have made a lasting impact, helping to keep the community engaged and connected.

Blandina Bello Hernandez

Inclusion & Access/Sidewalk Search Party – Blandina Bello Hernandez
We proudly nominate Blandina “Blandi” Bello Hernandez as this year’s Good Neighbor for her dedication to the Sidewalk Search Party. Blandi has devoted countless hours crafting paper ducks that we use to mark and identify unsafe sidewalks throughout the city. Her work brings much-needed attention to the sidewalk challenges that make it difficult for people with disabilities to navigate San Francisco. Thank you, Blandi, for your invaluable contribution!

Millie Cenidoza

Inner Sunset – Millie (Milagros) Cenidoza
Millie Cenidoza is a dedicated Good Neighbor for the Inner Sunset Community Connectors program in 2024 and has been an integral part of our community since its inception. A regular participant in our exercise classes, Tai Chi sessions, and walking groups, Millie is always welcoming new faces and encouraging others to join. She goes out of her way to check in on homebound neighbors, offering support and suggesting ways to grow our community. Her kindness, generosity, and enthusiasm shine through in every interaction, whether it’s helping others on field trips, offering assistance with public transit, or providing much-needed support. Born in the Philippines and having moved to San Francisco in 1972, Millie worked tirelessly as a financial analyst while raising her son, who now has children of his own that Millie helps care for. A parishioner at Saint Anne of the Sunset, Millie is a beloved presence in the Inner Sunset, effortlessly making aging look as graceful and easy as a morning walk around the block, always with a wave and a smile for her neighbors.

Gin Moon

Merced Extension Triangle (METCC) – Gin Moon 
Gin is METCC’s Good Neighbor this year for good reason. Almost without fail, he brings a food contribution (fruit, eggs, etc.) every week to share at our Tuesday Exercise + Social. He offers without being asked to take another participant home after our social hour. Gin’s generosity enables the participant’s husband (who drops her off) to stay home or play golf after his Tuesday morning task. Always helpful in class, Gin wears a smile and stays to socialize. There’s a range of good neighbors’ styles, and Gin’s style includes contribution, participation, and saying “yes” to some of the programs and services offered by the Community Living Campaign.

Evangeline Villanueva

Midtown Terrace – Evangeline Villanueva
Midtown Terrace Senior Exercise is proud to announce the recipient of the CLC 2024 Good Neighbor Award: Evangeline Villanueva. We all know and love Evangeline as the Office Manager of the Forest Hills Christian Church, the site of the weekly exercise program. Without a doubt, our program would not run as smoothly without her consistent support and fulfilling our many special requests. She is the master of unconditional support. Her rapport and ability to get along with everyone reflect her strong faith and commitment to Forest Hills Christian Church. Her generosity of time and energy captures the spirit of Forest Hills Christian Church. Evangeline accomplishes great things with her relaxed nature and kind heart. She is responsible and always reliable. Today, we recognize our unsung hero, our hidden gem, our super-quiet superhero, and thank her for all she has done for us.

Jennifer Okana

Miraloma Park – Jennifer Okano
Jennifer Okano is a church administrator at Cornerstone Trinity Baptist Church (CTBC) on Teresita Blvd. and has served the church for many years.  CTBC was originally established in the Sunset district in 2001 and moved to the Miraloma neighborhood in November 2011.   Jennifer was raised in the Richmond district and has lived and worked in San Francisco all of her life. Jennifer enjoys meeting, getting to know, and serving her Miraloma neighbors in the community through church partnerships with various Senior events.  These neighborhood partnerships include the CLC Senior Exercise group, the annual Tea Party, the MIP clubhouse clean-up, various ministry programs such as the neighborhood Beautification (community clean-up),  the annual Mission 4:19 Middle Schoolers/Seniors bingo and board games event, and the annual Trunk or Treat to name a few.  Jennifer feels blessed with the many opportunities to always meet her neighbors, encourage one another, and extend God’s love and faith to her Miraloma neighbors. 

Ferruccio Morassi

Miraloma Park – Ferruccio Morassi
Ferruccio has been a volunteer since 2015. He comes from a background of serving people, being friendly, and having a great sense of humor. He has been in the hospitality business for 40 years, including owning a restaurant in Petaluma, CA. Ferruccio realizes the importance of helping in all areas of the Miraloma Community whether it’s a day of exercise, a special event, or just showing up no matter what.  He has helped in the kitchen, serving and greeting for our potlucks, tea parties, or any other event. He is great at calling Bingo, as he has lots of experience on cruise ships. Our connectors enjoy his personality and get a kick out of his humor—he has not lost his accent yet! We are thankful to have him as a volunteer and wanted to thank him as a good neighbor.

Ruth Carsch

Potrero Hill – Ruth Carsch 
Good Neighbor,  Ruth Carsch, has been a dedicated participant in our programs since we launched in the winter of 2022. She has been a constant presence in our Chair Yoga Class and has actively participated in numerous events, including our Clothing Swap, Community Cookie Party, and Stroke Presentation and Luncheon. Ruth has even stepped in to lead the Chair Yoga class when the instructor was delayed. A retired reference librarian from the San Francisco Public Library, Ruth also has experience as an educator and consultant. Born in London, she moved to the U.S. at the age of four and was raised and educated in New York. She relocated to San Francisco in the early 1970s and has been a cherished member of the community ever since.  

Paul Hickman

SF ReServe – Paul Hickman 
Paul was one of the first members of the Emergency Preparedness team at CLC, having joined in March 2022.  He is so friendly and charming, some folks have called him “the face of CLC”.  Before joining CLC, Paul was at Felton Family Service Agency for 12 years, and prior to that, spent eight years working at St. Anthony’s.  Paul is originally from Boston. Paul is  a bright light for so many people, always reaching out, connecting and making every space he graces a better place to be. He is a role model for how to work hard with care.

Sylvia Lew

St. Francis Square – Sylvia Lew 
Sylvia Lew has been the secretary and administrator for St. Francis Square Housing Co-op since 2001, and our choice for Good Neighbor this year. Though not officially a neighbor in that she does not live here, she fits a different definition of neighbor as a person who shows kindliness and helpfulness toward others beyond what she is required to do. And her tasks are many– secretary and communications central for almost 300 apartments, the liaison among: cooperators; the Board of Directors; the housing manager, maintenance workers, and outside service workers; mail and package deliveries; and the office itself, and much more. She speaks Cantonese and Mandarin and facilitates communication with our monolingual Chinese households. She is so nice to everyone, diplomatic, and genuinely kind. No matter how much she has on her workday plate, she is good-humored, attentive, and unhurried to every one of us. She does so many extras for us—if something is left hanging, she helps see it through from home after hours. We are so fortunate to have such a caring person looking out for us all.

John Glen

Omi Grocery Network – John Glen
It was a unanimous decision to select John Glen as Good Neighbor of 2024. John has lived in the OMI community for over 50 years and has always been a blessing to the OMI Neighbors. In the early years, John would provide free labor for tune-ups, oil changes, and brake jobs for seniors in the neighborhood. John has been volunteering with the HDGP from the onset; Deloris McGee recruited him to deliver groceries along with Ned Reese. In August 2022, John had an accident on his motorcycle and suffered a TBI and a broken ankle. After three months in the hospital and intense therapy, John has resumed his role of volunteering at the HDGP and with our extended community events. The CLC-OMI staff and volunteers would like to thank John for his continued services.

Park Merced Grocery Network – Orlando Trevinio
The Park Merced Home Delivered Grocery Network honors Orlando Trevinio, a dedicated volunteer who helps with packing and deliveries to ensure that Park Merced seniors and people with disabilities get healthy foods twice each month. Thank you, Orlando.

Marilyn Koehler

Sunnyside Community Connectors – Marilyn Koehler
Sunnyside Connectors is delighted to honor Marilyn Koehler for all she does to contribute to the Sunnyside Community. A dedicated member of the group, she helps create a welcoming environment and is always willing to help. Thank you, Marilyn.

Diane Lawrence

 

Senior Power – Diane Lawrence
Diane has many talents, which she has generously shared with San Francisco, the Sunset District where she lives, and our District 4 program, Senior Power. She has many accolades, including being the President of the Advisory Council to the Commission for SF Dept. of Disability & Senior Services (DAS). Despite this grave responsibility, Diane has been a friend and supporter of Senior Power since before its inception in September 2018. She was always there with suggestions, advice, and in many cases, “boots on the ground” as she attended meetings and worked at various activities, including street fairs and festivals. Not only has Diane promoted the resources of DAS and its many programs, but she has selflessly patronized and promoted The Adventures of Rob Raven, our book on climate change. Without missing a beat, she would swing into the benefits of belonging to the Senior Power, with its meetings and newsletter, as well as the Community Living Campaign organization as a whole, while promoting the DAS Hub and advising individuals of the various agencies in place to help our seniors and persons with disabilities. Her tireless efforts and enthusiasm have been a bonus for me, and I am proud to call her a friend. She is long past due for this recognition, and I am pleased to nominate her.

 

 

 

Marcy Adelman: Hero to San Francisco’s LGBTQ+ Seniors

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Dr. Marcy Adelman

If Marcy Adelman hadn’t grown up in an intergenerational household, she might never have had the epiphany outside the Castro Theater that shaped her life and work, nor become this year’s Norma Satten Community Service Awardee.

Born shortly after World War II, Marcy spent her early years in a Massachusetts apartment with her parents, brother, grandmother, and aunt. Her Orthodox Jewish Ukrainian grandmother, who fled Ukraine with her younger brother to escape conscription and persecution, was the fiercely protective matriarch, deeply committed to preserving their family story.

Marcy’s grandmother became the “keeper of history, religion, and tradition” in their family. “She was very important in so many ways, especially to me,” Marcy said. While Marcy isn’t an Orthodox or religious Jew, she believes that understanding her history is crucial to self-development. Her grandmother’s lessons helped Marcy discover who she was, even if the process was challenging.

As a teenager, Marcy realized she was a lesbian but found little information since LGBTQ topics were rarely discussed. The library kept books on the subject behind the librarian’s desk, requiring readers to sign them out. “And, I wasn’t as a teenager going to sign that I was interested in getting a book on homosexuality,” Marcy said. Instead, she turned to fiction by Gertrude Stein and French authors to understand her sexuality.

Marcy eventually told her father she was a lesbian, but since being gay was seen as a mental illness, he insisted she see a therapist. After several sessions, realizing therapy wouldn’t change her, she lied to her father, claiming she was “over it.” The experience was transformative; when her therapist dismissed being gay as “a phase,” Marcy’s heart knew otherwise, and she fully accepted her identity. She even began considering a future in therapy to help others embrace their authentic selves.

As an undergrad at Suffolk University, Marcy chose to identify as bisexual, thinking it would be more socially acceptable and attract other gay women. Surprisingly/not surprisingly, it made her more appealing to men. She immersed herself in leftist politics, focused on her English and History studies, and dreamed of escaping to Europe after graduation.

In Europe, Marcy traveled extensively, visited gay bars, dated women for the first time, and fell in love with a French woman she lived with for two years. After the Kent State Massacre, Marcy felt a renewed drive to return to the U.S. and get involved in politics, leading her and her partner to move to San Francisco in the 1970s.

Marcy recalled how she “just dropped into a little bit of heaven” when she joined the Gay Women’s Liberation Movement in San Francisco. “We would sit around in circles, talk about our lives, our difficulties, and most importantly, our dreams.” This support gave Marcy the courage to pursue a psychology degree at San Francisco State University.

At this time, there was finally a desire to do positive research on gay people. So Marcy decided she wanted to study lesbians and provide an accurate report on them, not just one that would compare them to heterosexual women and pathologize them. So she did some research, put it together, and presented it to her faculty advisor, Dr. Harvey Peskin (Aaron’s Dad). She told him she wanted to write her thesis on lesbians. After a brief pause, Dr. Peskin said, “I don’t know how to tell you this, but we don’t require a thesis here.” Peskin, however, was intrigued and soon enlisted a colleague to help him review and guide Marcy’s project. Published in 1977, Marcy’s thesis was the second in the nation to look at lesbians in different stages of their lives: single, partnered, employed, etc. Marcy’s work with the LGBTQ community was just beginning, however. 

Shortly after arriving in San Francisco, Marcy was in line at the Castro Theatre on a sunny summer’s day. The Castro was a place where gay and lesbian people could all be out in ways that they never could’ve been back in their hometowns. But something wasn’t right. ” I looked up and down the line and marveled at seeing so many of my fellow community members publicly expressing joy, affection, and pride- and it hit me like a ton of bricks. We were all about the same age. Where were our seniors? Why weren’t they here with us sharing in this moment?” Marcy asked. 

Marcy didn’t know what to do with her thoughts until an opportunity presented itself. While reading the SF State newsletter, Marcy spotted an article reporting that Dr. Frederick Minnegerode of the University of San Francisco was coming to campus to conduct the first National Institute of Health aging study on gay aging. Specifically, gay male aging. Intrigued, Marcy went to a nearby pay phone, called up Dr. Minnegerode, identified herself as a Lesbian (The first time she’d done that to a total stranger), and asked the doctor, “Why didn’t you include lesbians in your study?” Dr. Minnegrode told her that if he had thought he could get enough lesbian participants, he would have included them. With little thought, Marcy volunteered to get such participants, and she soon became a vital part of the study.

After completing the main study, Marcy used some of its material for her graduate thesis. Then, after Dr. Minnegrode unexpectedly passed away from a heart attack, she inherited the research and eventually used it to help write “Long Time Passing: Lives of Older Lesbians.” The book, published in 1986, was the first anthology of stories about lesbians. It was also the first time each lesbian storyteller received author credit for their contributions. Of course, Marcy’s work continued further. She went on to serve as a psychotherapist for many in the LGBTQ and straight communities. She has also served on several committees, including: 

  • The San Francisco Advisory Committee to the Aging and Adult Service Commission
  • The Alzheimer’s Association of Northern California and Northern Nevada’s Board of Directors
  • The San Francisco LGBT Dementia Care Project
  • The Dignity Fund Oversight and Advisory Board of Directors for the City and County of San Francisco. 
  • The California Commission on Aging and the Master Plan for Aging
  • The San Francisco LGBTQ+ Aging Policy Task Force

In the late 1990s, Marcy did some of her most famous work. It was the height of the dot-com boom. Rents were sky-high, and San Francisco was getting more and more expensive. Marcy started to receive phone calls from older members of the LGBTQ community. “All these men and women were calling me, saying, ‘I have to leave. I can’t afford to stay here, but there’s nowhere to go where I can be out again.'” While walking with a friend, the two began discussing how someone needed to do something to provide housing to this forgotten group. Her friend turned to her and said, “Well, why don’t you do it?” With little thought, Marcy agreed. 

Marcy and Jeanette

Convincing her wife, Jeanette Gurevitch, to help was the first challenge. Initially hesitant, Jeanette eventually saw the opportunity to support older gay men and lesbians and joined the effort. The next hurdle was convincing city officials, who mistakenly believed the LGBTQ community was too affluent to need affordable housing. Marcy and Jeanette led a group that surveyed over a thousand LGBTQ adults, proving the need for support. The survey shattered the myth of gay affluence and, in 2000, led to the first grant from the city of San Francisco for LGBTQ housing, which in turn afforded Marcy and her team, then known as Rainbow Adult Community Housing, much-needed credibility, and seed money to plan the housing and services program that is today known as Openhouse.

Marcy has dedicated her career to addressing the needs and elevating the quality of life of LGBTQ seniors. Since she was a little girl listening to her grandmother in their apartment, she has understood that our older adults can provide us with context and history to help us better understand ourselves. Now, as a senior herself, she is ready and willing to do just that. 

Marcy says: ” The elders in my family and my community did that for me. They talked about who they were and their past, and they passed on, either through deed or word, their values, and their experiences. That shaped me and was important to me, so it’s my turn.”

For significant contributions to LGBTQ seniors in San Francisco, Marcy Adelman will receive Community Living Campaign’s Norma Satten Community Service Award at the UC School of Law Skydeck on Thursday, September 19th, from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. Please RSVP to attend.

More Pictures from Marcy’s Extraordinary Life

Stories about the ADA

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On the 33rd anniversary of the signing of the Americans with Disabilities Act, we asked participants to share their stories about how the ADA has impacted their lives. Here are just a couple of those stories:

From John Trasvina:

When I worked as Senator Paul Simon’s counsel on the U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee in the 1980s and 1990s, he was instrumental in the passage of the disability access provisions of the Fair Housing Act and the full Americans with Disabilities Act.   The most compelling memory I have is when members of the public who had disabilities would come to Washington D.C. to speak with staff or at hearings about the importance of these laws to their daily lives.  In particular, representatives of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and the Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA) who were afflicted with these illnesses would describe their daily challenges.  Their courage and strength educated people in Washington and helped pass these laws.   They should be remembered today as well as the political leaders who passed the bills and signed them into law.

From Nicky Trasvina:

When my kids were little we rented a funky old house at 46th and Taraval. It felt like the end of the world out there. But there was a highlight! On the corner stood The Bashful Bull Too, a large diner with huge plate windows that served excellent pancakes. Those pancakes were so delicious that my father enjoyed bringing us there almost every Sunday. Sometimes we were  joined by my uncle or a family friend or two. We were a party of at least 6.

But during the 1990s tragedy struck and my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimers and simultaneously lost her mobility, making her wheel-chair bound. Yet my dad insisted we keep going to The Bashful Bull Too. So we brought my mom downstairs, into the car, along with the wheelchair and off we would go. Tragedy struck again around 2002 and my dad was stricken with a form of ALS, aka Lou Gehrig’s disease. Our family was in shock to see two very intelligent and active seniors lose most of their physical abilities almost overnight.
 
But we knew that my dad wanted to continue the Sunday family tradition of going to The Bashful Bull Too. So almost every Sunday, my brother, my boys, and I would somehow carry my parents down from the second story of their home, get them situated in the car, load up the wheelchairs  and drive to 46th and Taraval. Then we would carefully get them out of the car, unload the wheelchairs and off we would go!
 
The bittersweet aspect of this story is that when the Bashful Bull Too owner and waiter saw us approaching the front door they did everything they could to accommodate us! They held the door for us while another moved tables and chairs. They saved the corner table for us to shield us from the drafty door opening and closing, they brought us coffee and menus immediately. They made the experience as easy as possible for my parents and for the rest of the family. I will never forget their kindness and the respect they showed to my parents! We never felt like a spectacle causing so much commotion, but appreciated the fanfare of their welcome!
Yes, this did take place after the ADA was voted and approved in 1990, but to me, the owner and her staff embodied the underlying meaning and mission of the ADA. They did not behave this way because of the ADA. Yes, it’s important but a sad commentary that we have to have laws to tell people the right thing to do, to notice and to make accommodations so that everyone is treated fairly and given full access. It is the strength of the law that protects what differently -abled individuals have gained and benefit in their daily lives.
The bittersweet aspect of this story is that the owner and her staff did not behave this way for the ADA. Their assistance to us was inspired out of the goodness of their hearts. Their show of respect and kindness to my parents is a bittersweet story of all our fortitude and determination to make my parents’ lives as regular and happy as possible for the longest time possible. We could not have done it without our friends at the Bashful Bull Too.
 
I want to thank Jennifer Walsh, a warrior for the differently-abled community, for asking for stories about how the ADA has impacted our lives and the experiences of those with disabilities.

The Hard Stuff

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Dear readers,
Recently, I shared that I was working on a Fall 2023 program called, The Hard Stuff, a one-hour Zoom program that will cover specific topics relating to experiences and feelings around aging and loss.
See readers’ recent comments:

  • Lately, it feels like a short trek from I’m having a lousy day—and, I’m going to die alone.
  • Where to live out your life – Home? Retirement place? With one’s children (if any)?
  • It would be great if we shared our secret box of fear that we all have.
  • A chance to say the words out loud echoing in me? They feel really big; but if you keep them inside, they will isolate you. If you say them out loud, they will connect you.
  • Comforting to hear others and say yes, I feel that way too…
  •  How do others cope with working and juggling to care for the parents/spouse while continuing to work- siblings not stepping in to ‘help’ – leading to frustrations & estrangements
  • Fear or financial insecurities due to health issues – how to pay for everything.

The Hard Stuff is not intended to solve or fix anything. We hope to provide a non-judgmental, open-hearted space to be heard and feel a connection.

Most older adults have experienced considerable loss by the time they reach 65. We’ve lost family and friends, suffered illness and injury. We continue to experience loss more frequently, and support could be helpful. It’s the Hard Stuff we knew was coming.

The Hard Stuff will be moderated by a professional where attendees can call or listen in— topics like estrangements, coping with a difficult diagnosis, anger, disappointments, loss of a partner, or body function.

It reminds me of the once-popular call-in radio programs of days gone by. You could tune in and listen to people debating politics, talk about raising children, etc. You didn’t have to be a caller to participate.

What are your ideas around “The Hard Stuff”—what would you like to see us discuss? If we can share our burdens, maybe they won’t be as heavy or isolating.

Please email me at patti@sfcommunityliving.org and let me know.
Patti Spaniak

Father’s Day Poems & Stories

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As we head towards Father’s Day, we’ve asked our writing group participants to send in stories about their dads in whatever form they like. Read some of the stories and poems below.

Words of My Father

by Carolyn Jayne
Recently, I was surprised to hear a close friend talk about his father saying, “after a hard day’s work, he had to put up with us little brats.”  It made me remember and realize that I never thought my dad was putting up with us, at all.   He did make it clear that our mother, his wife came first, and that we were second in priority.   My impression was that we were precious to him; and that the only reason he went to work was so he could come home and be with us.
Occasionally he took us, one at a time, with him to work when he had to read x-rays for a few hours on a weekend.   But other than speaking into his dictaphone about x-rays, I don’t recall him talking very much.  Unless, of course, there was a lesson to share.   And I don’t recall him ever complaining, even when, as I found out later, he was in pain.
As I put slides together for his memorial, I recalled that for family gatherings before 1980, Dad was most often the photographer, so the photos I found were mostly taken by him.  But when I found photos that included him,  I recalled that his hands were usually busy when he wasn’t busy.   When he was sitting around relaxing with family, his hands were always weaving rope or twine into decorative knots.  I think it was his way of being present with his family while being quiet, reflective.  And although it’s possible that he was thinking about a problem or working out a mathematical puzzle in his head, Dad was an excellent listener.  He didn’t join in the conversation until he had something he thought important to say.   And when he did speak, it was at a very slow pace, and educational.
After age 65 and a mandatory retirement from his firm, he began studying the computer.   He was a fearless student, not only learning how to use a computer, but also how to program it.   He enjoyed shortcuts and tricks that made the computer write unusual characters like interrobang, a question mark superimposed with exclamation point.    Figuring out that stuff, and figuring out how to figure it out, was important to him.
And he loved ideas.  It sometimes seemed as if he loved ideas more that he loved people, other than his own family, of course.   And when he talked about people, it was always within the context of sharing ideas.   Sharing ideas was his passion.
And within the context of sharing ideas, teaching was his passion.  If there were a lesson to learn, then it was worthwhile moment, a worthwhile hour, a worthwhile day. for him.  After his children became adults, his job became teaching his grandchildren.
When I was very young, he taught me how to have fun with numbers, and then later how to have fun with words.  He also taught me, very early by example, how satisfying it is to make music.  By example he taught me how to practice every day and especially how to enjoy the fruits of practice.    He was a teacher in many ways.  When he was older he kept teaching me, mostly by example; in major ways like the value of reflection before reaction, and in smaller ways, like how to fall.   (He was short and his technique was to collapse; drop and roll.)   If there was a lesson to learn, he was ready with it.
To a stranger, he might have seemed cold or indifferent, but to me he was an avid teacher, passionately motivated to improving the world.   He never gave up on his family.   As long as we would listen, he kept teaching until his death in 2014 at ninety seven.

After Death Visit From Bouncy Dad – Journal Entry, Midnight 9/12 and 13/96

by Adele Brookman
Dad,

Thank you for visiting me that first nite/day (whatever it was – the time in me was so mixed up when Noah and I got back from Europe.) I want to write the scene to remember it.

I was layin’ there in the gravely darkness in the nether world of not-awake/asleep jet lag, and there you were. Were you wearing a suit? [What do people wear when they are cremated?] Don’t remember.

Anyway, you were at the foot of the bed saying “Hello Shansalah!” with a happy smile on your face. “Here, let me have a seat on the (bottom) edge of your bed. Oops! Oh no! I better not, I’ll crush you and Noahlah.
Wait! No I won’t! I can’t crush anyone anymore. I only look big and fat, but I’m really a spirit!
See? No weight to crush anybody!” And you bounced around my room like a big rubber ball laughing. You saw me laugh and you said “Good! There’s your sense of humor — you’ll need that to get you through this hard time.” Dad, you went on to tell me how glad, even delighted, you are to be out of that fashtunkinah, fakoktah body you had where you held such suffering and pain.
I can’t remember your departure — if you kissed me good-bye.  But I was so glad to see and hear you that way.
Since then, no real visits like that. But I did have a distinct feeling that a very plump black-grey bird who was coming around may have been you.
Love,
Adele

Giovanni’s Bath

by Grace D’Anca

Grazina Pistorio D’Anca 2/24/20

My dad is 80.
I am 33.
He needs to take a bath.
I give him coffee, panettone
pick lint off the carpet
fiddle with nonsense to postpone
time. He thinks he’s still in Minnesota
he just can’t find the basement
or the attic or Summit Avenue. We
live on Holly Park Circle so he
doesn’t know if he’s coming or going.
He hides his dentures from the robbers he hears
from his window looking onto the park
where hooligans
drink on top of the jungle gym all night.
He tucks his dollars in the waistband of his boxers
shuffles hammer toed to the bathroom.
where we find bills floating in the toilet bowl in the morning
We dry them in the oven.
I make sure the water temperature is just right
put clean clothes next to the claw foot tub
generous to his five and a half foot frame.
I talk to him through the keyhole, say the same things to him.
A lot. A long half hour and he comes out
dressed in the dirty clothes. I repress
a feral scream. Next time
I ask him to hand out the dirty clothes
then hand in the clean.
  ###

John and Giovanni 12/16/20/4.13.23

The horses lived on the ground floor
the grandfather I never met
traded them. My father saw something beyond
the Mediterranean. He lived above the horses
in the place he never told me about, he said
he didn’t grow tall because he didn’t have enough meat
that the priest always had meat on his table. That people
starved for the priest. He lived above the horses
with his three brothers and sister and his mother
who was always home. The oldest bothers
followed a dream. To America. I don’t remember
where they went, or what they did.
But their dreams diminished
and drove them back home
backl to the horses. My father
did have a twinkle sometimes
when he said only went to church
to see the girls. He was twenty-two
when he came to America
with just a valise and enough words
to ask for the bathroom and apple pie.
I loved to see the arc of black waves coming
in his passport photo I found
ruffling through the valise in our attic.
And, I was stunned to see
how he spelled his names in Sicily.
And, that there was a gun
and a bugle in the valise too.

Father’s Day Story Collection

by Tina Gonzales

My Father, the Joker

My father is a pretty funny guy.  He likes to laugh and you don’t have to laugh along with him.  He’s always been pretty independent that way.

I remember one Christmas when he was decorating the front window by gluing puffs of cotton to the pane in an effort to make it look like snow.  Some of the neighborhood kids were playing in front of our house and when they saw my father in the window, they jumped up on the little cement wall and waved at him. He put a long piece of cotton under his nose like he was wearing a snowy mustache and waved back.  The kids were delighted and, of course, I was mortally embarrassed.

Last year in late February and early March I had been ill for a while and could barely remember what day it was.  I walked up the hill to Safeway to get a few necessities and at the checkout counter I was given some of the monopoly tickets that were part of a yearly contest.  Usually, you are only given the number listed on your receipt but this clerk just gave me a handful, not wanting to take the time to count them out.  When I got home and was putting away the groceries, I counted out the tickets and there were thirteen although the store receipt listed only three.

This made me smile because it is my favorite number and then I looked at the calendar and it finally registered that it was Friday, March 13, my father’s birthday.  I laughed and said aloud: “Happy birthday, Pa, wherever and whatever you are today. You had to make sure I didn’t forget you. How very droll.”

As I walked into my bedroom, I noticed the digital clock on my bedside table.  It read 451, the address of the house I grew up in. I’m pretty sure I rolled my eyes.  Then I said: “Okay, Pa, I get it. It’s your birthday, you reminded me, message received.  All right, already!”  Then I laughed.  What a jokester!

My father died in 1981 but he still gets around.

###

When My Father Died

I didn’t have to be told when my father died.  He did that in person, in his own way.  His spirit sat on my chest and squeezed the breath out of me in the middle of the night.  I immediately woke up and even though I was somewhat groggy and disoriented I was fully aware of what had just happened; message received.

My reaction was divided.  Part of me was relieved because his last days were not happy ones.  He had been relegated to a senior care home in another city against his wishes.  At home he had been getting forgetful, leaving a pot boiling on the stove and then walking off to do something else until the burning smell would catch someone’s attention.

I was saddened that he had died but relieved in the same breath because he would no longer have to live a life that was not for him.

He had been a visitor to the world and circumnavigated the globe a dizzying number of times.  He had been in the merchant marines, worked on luxury liners that sailed out of San Francisco to exotic ports, was torpedoed and rescued two or three times in the Atlantic Ocean during WWII, had seen the Korean and Vietnam conflicts up close and personal.  When governments rose and fell, wars started and famine decimated populations, he saw it all.  Sitting day after endless day in an institution where the walls were painted San Quentin green and nothing ever happened was sure to have been a certain daily death for him.

I like to think of him floating among the stars and every once in a while, he motors back down to earth and gives me a tap on the shoulder or enters one of my dreams and gives me a bit of advice.  Like the time he was sitting at the round kitchen table in the house where I grew up.  He was seated, three older men standing behind him, all of them were wearing different patterned Pendleton shirts – like maybe they were in a club or part of a gang.  I like to think he had made new friends on the other side.

My father did not look ill and in fact looked younger than he had at the time of his death.  I sat across from him and waited because even though I sensed that I was dreaming, I still thought this was something important.  I clasped my hands on the oil cloth and waited.  I never forgot what he said to me – simple words burned into my memory, but I have hung on to them for decades.  It was only one sentence but worth its weight in gold: “Everything is going to be all right.”  These days I am hanging on to that promise for dear life because I hope he was right.

###

Learning English at the Movies

Movies are lifesavers in so many ways.  When my father first came to this country in 1916, he didn’t know hardly any English.  He was luckier than most new arrivals because he had money in his pocket and had some breathing room before he needed to find a job. After securing a room in a boarding house, he wandered around New York City, seeing the sights, trying to figure out how things worked, and making lots of new friends.  On one of his wanderings, he discovered what he described as one of mankind’s greatest inventions:  the automat.

After a bit, he knew that he needed to learn English as fast as possible.  He had no patience with school and rules and homework so he had to find a quicker way.  When he discovered a movie theater near his lodgings, he realized this was a solution to his problem.  He would plunk down the entry fee (a few pennies), take his ticket and sit in the second row behind the little kids.  The silent movies had the dialog at the bottom of the screen and the youngsters would read the words out in their loud voices and from that experience my father was able to learn enough vocabulary to string together a sentence and conduct business.

What a bargain: a movie, and on Saturdays sometimes two, a newsreel, a cartoon and free English lessons.  I bet his eighteen-year-old self was probably pretty proud of his problem-solving skills.

Daddy

By Lee Ellen Shoemaker

Daddy
Remember when I was born?
At home that cold November day.
I’ll soon be 87.
How old were you?
Born in 1891.
Forty-five when I arrived.
You got sick.
He’s in Heaven, they said.
I was five.
I dreamed you held my hand.
Took me with you.
Floating through the ceiling.
You hold my heart.
Never far away.

My Father

by Naomi Cooper

When I was very little, my father still acted like a boy in many ways.
He liked to drive fast, play drums, swim out
far over his head in the Atlantic Ocean.
Whenever he threw me far above his head, my mother cried out,
“Oh, not so high! Be careful with that baby!”
But I, the baby, never felt afraid, always trusting his waiting arms.
I believed he’d hung the moon, the sun, even currents of air we breathed,
and that if some mistake happened, so I did not get caught,
his sweet breath would flow into a net,
a place for falling softly.

Jeannie Greensleaves, Daddy and Me

by Adele Brockman

My first memory of a tree
was out back of our apartment,
an old Brownstone in N. Philly,
when I was barely 3.
We had a waking ritual, Daddy & me.
He would come and pick me up
into his arms
hold me close
kiss the top of my head
and say “Where’s Jeannie Greensleaves?
Let’s find Jeannie Greensleaves.
I would point my tiny finger
to the back window,
then we’d look out and see
the big tree.
Then again, everything and everyone was big to me.
So I can’t tell you the size or any feature of the tree.
The main attraction to it was the other little girl
who lived in it – a little older than me.
Her name was Jeannie.
She had long luscious hair like mine,
only it was green!
She wore a long green ragged dress with pointy hem & sleeves,
that looked so much like leaves,
no one else could see her
but daddy & me.

Introducing Cat Hampton of CLC’s Drama with Friends

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Picture Above: Cat as Fleur in Madeline Puccioni’s short play, “Said the Spider to the Fly” (our December 2022 production).

March 20 will mark the debut of four new directors with CLC’s Drama with Friends. After a year of working without a director, followed by a year of relying on one director, DwF is now recruiting directors from within the troupe. Four members – Kathy Stefano, Joe Kaniewski, Martin Pfefferkorn, and Catherine (Cat) Hampton – stepped up, one for each short play we’re presenting on Monday, March 20. 

Cat is one of the early members of the troupe; she joined us three years ago this coming August. Over the years, she’s assumed various roles, creating costumes to fit the part (See Picture Above). 

In addition to acting, Cat is a professional storyteller and playwright. She directs adult and children’s choirs at two churches, studies improvisation, and is completing a children’s book on space travel. An accomplished harpist, Cat has been known to accompany herself on the harp or a small flute.

“Directing,” she said, “is something new, it’s a challenge. I have to find my way into my own sensibility and confidence. It’s a different voice than what you use as an actor. You have to sell the play – make it interesting, evocative, and entertaining. Directing forces me to see the whole picture, not just your own part. Lexi (Alexis Barry, one of the members of the troupe and a theatre student in college) has helped me develop my directing eyes to see the arc and subtext. It’s a whole new skill.”  

“I love Drama with Friends,” Cat continued. “It’s been a real blessing during the pandemic. We’re creating magical stories that come to life with limited resources.”

Join Cat and the rest of the troupe on Monday evening, March 20, at 7 pm when Drama with Friends presents a free performance of four short plays by prize-winning local playwright Bill Bivins. A Q&A will follow the plays with the playwright. Drama with Friends gives a Zoom performance every third Monday night of the month. If you are interested in acting or want to join our mailing list, contact Judy Goddess at judygoddess@gmail.com. 

Zoom link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/832984770686 or call in at 888-475-4499.

More Than One Warm Coat

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Coat Drive Report by Olivia Franco and Nicky Trasvina, December 13, 2022

On Thanksgiving Day, 2022 (November 24th) I commenced with the Coat Drive program. I have witnessed many families with small children and teenagers who are unaccustomed to the cold SF weather, even when there is sun. They are not expecting the temperatures to dip as low as they do and they often arrive to our programs or to school ill-prepared for the weather. I wanted to provide them with the basics to keep them warm and healthy. With my experience in multiple non-profits, I listed my contacts and put to life the Coat Drive program! Since Thanksgiving we have collected approximately 200 jackets! They will be distributed to kids from several shelters and low-income families on Tuesday, December 13th , nineteen days after the program’s inception. The list of organizations include Buena Vista Shelter, Providence Shelter, Coleman Advocates, Harbor Lights, and the Latino Task Force. Thanks is given to the following groups for their acts of generosity in making many donations: Community Living Campaign neighborhoods Sunnyside, Midtown, and the Merced Extension Triangle and their Connectors; Bay Area Community Resource; Latino Task Force; and other private parties.  

The motivation for this project, besides the obvious of helping the children, is to model to others in my organization (CLC) and demonstrate the value of organizing service projects to help others. I encourage others to do similar projects when they see people in need, especially children. I think this is a great activity for our seniors, especially those who are not necessarily in financial need, but in need of emotional connection and to fulfill their own desire to feel needed. As my colleague has indicated when we have co-coordinated other service projects, seniors do well and thrive when they are able to contribute and feel part of the process of giving, in any capacity.

On Tuesday, December 13th, we assembled at 3 pm to set up the coat giveaway at CASA AYUDA at 4834 Mission Street in the heart of the Excelsior District, the district with the highest population of kids in all of SF. At Casa Ayuda we gave away over 250 jackets in two hours!

I expected to see the look of joy on all the kids’ faces and watch them having fun trying on the jackets for their parents to see. I expected laughter and smiles as they modeled the jackets to each other and their parents. What I saw instead was a line of mostly single parents waiting with several children in a long line against the dim lit storefronts of mostly closed stores, doors away from a large construction site. The parents looked tired, but patient. The children were pretty quiet and nice. Their demeanor led me to believe they were grateful that this program was made available to them. The helpful volunteers kept the crowd moving in a time-efficient way. All this made their considerable long wait in line worth it for the sake of saving twenty or thirty dollars on a jacket their child would outgrow in a year. As a witness to this process, it made me wonder what other lines these families have to face as the week progresses, simply to attain their basic household necessities, such as the food line at the Latino Task Force site every Friday. Lines have become a way of life for many. The irony of coordinating a project that helps people is that it actually triggers a sense of sadness not lost on me. “It is better to give than to receive” is questionable as this experience brings to light the disparities many of our community members come face to face with in our own city, in our lives, and we can only impact in soft, short-term ways. Giving is two-fold. It produces pleasure in the giving but also releases pain as we can never give enough. The lesson learned is that we can never stop giving and there is nothing as being too generous.  

I want to thank CLC for their part in this project. Please look for the photos I will send so you can really feel the love! And thank you for your continued support and promotion of the programs I love bringing to CLC. 

Sincerely, 

Olivia Franco